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Listen — it’s not like getting an apartment in New York has ever been easy. But one could probably argue that it has never been harder than it is right now. The most god-awful studios are regularly renting for thousands and thousands of dollars with lines of interested tenants out the door. Here, we’ll find the actually-worth-looking-ats, actually-worth-the-costs, and affordable-for-those-parquet-floors from all around the internet.
This week, you’ll notice a sort of frenetic energy to the listings I chose — there are a few short-term Craigslist rentals (seems like the trend this season is to rent out your apartment for a total of, like, 12 hours), a hot-ticket, high-priced listing in Chinatown, and some very standard, affordable-ish Brooklyn rentals in the Fort Greene area.
Bed-Stuy Apartment Listings
$2,950,000, 6-bedroom: The $3 million, six-bedroom townhouse that no one asked for! The owners didn’t mess around with the renovation — looks like a complete demo with very little personality or charm spared. Sad! But cheaper than buying a townhouse in Manhattan.
$1,1000,000, 6-bedroom: Intrigued by this six-bedroom in Ocean Hill for $1 million with no photos of the interior. The floor plan is nice, though — so maybe it’s really nice! Someone please go check it out and report back.
$999,000, 2-bedroom: This feels like a good deal. Some work required (mostly just putting up walls and maybe giving the kitchen a freshening up), but worth it to live your best loft life.
$200, 2-bedroom: Need a place for nine days starting December 21? All jokes aside, this is a great deal for a three-bedroom duplex with two full bathrooms in the heart of Bed-Stuy. Could be perfect for your in-laws this holiday season.
$3,750, 3-bedroom: Looks more like a 2.5, but there’s a virtual doorman, apparently!
Williamsburg Apartment Listings
$7,500, 1-bedroom: It’s definitely not my vibe, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be yours. Lean into the GTL (gym, tan, laundry) of it all and get on this 1,268-square-foot, waterfront loft in central Williamsburg.
Park Slope Apartment Listings
$2,950,000, 3-bedroom: This one is class-y. It actually might just be a Classic Six, but instead of being on the Upper East Side, it’s overlooking Prospect Park. I love the prewar details — the moldings, the original ceiling decals, the stately (to borrow a word from the listing) fireplace. In another world, I think I’d be very happy here.
$2,250,000, 3-bedroom: This is all about the mahogany built-ins. The armoire next to the staircase? Stunning. It’s also on the park, which explains the price. Some dubious details include the underrenovated kitchen and bathrooms, the track lighting on the second floor, and the staircase itself.
$750,000, 1-bedroom: This has all the charm, but less of the square footage — which is what storage units are for! A lot to love: the black-and-white vinyl flooring in the kitchen, the arched passageways, the wide-plank wood flooring.
$1,125,000, 2-bedroom: Standard Park Slope closet at a high price.
Fort Greene Apartment Listings
$3,000, 2-bedroom: Looking to get out of L.A. and move to Fort Greene for January?? Well then, this might be your spot and opportunity for a charming Brooklyn stay in a great neighborhood at a fine rate.
$3,000, 2-bedroom: This is decent.
$2,900, 1-bedroom: Also decent but with more charm — and there appears to be a gas-fireplace insert right next to the kitchen. The windows are the highlight here.
West Village Apartment Listings
$4,895, 1-bedroom: I like this apartment, I do — the decorative fireplace is nice, the windows appear to be original and are in good condition, there are crown moldings — but the price just really gets me down and makes me want to stick to Brooklyn.
$9,950, 2-bedroom: I think I’m being fooled by the rendering (also, close-up pictures of shiny appliances is always a telltale sign of subterfuge), BUT, all that said, this feels more spacious and soulful than your typical MacDougal apartment. The windows are what I’m focusing on, mostly. High price point, though.
Chinatown Apartment Listings
$10,500,000, 2-bedroom: Attn: This is JFF (just for fun)! As it happens, Theo Wenner is selling his 4,000-square-foot, four-floor palazzo in the heart of Dimes Square. According to thefreelibrary.com, Wenner purchased the building for $2.35 million after entering into a bidding war against two other artists. Many millions and a partnership with Trimble Architecture later, Wenner created his very own Luis Barragan–ian live-in studio where he lived for 12 whole years! There’s an entire essay about it on the StreetEasy listing — the highlights of which include sentences like “hidden cutaways create an immersive dialogue between shadows light.”
Rental Rewind
A couple weeks ago, I listed this totally tasteful, basically perfect townhouse in Park Slope. (Basically perfect besides its price tag — it was renting for a steep $14,000 a month.) I noticed it sat on the market for 22 days and decided to check in with the listing broker, Ria Browne, to see what happened. It was unusual, she said. “Townhouses usually go quite quickly, but the market’s been so bad it lingered longer than expected.” Instead of a typical war, there was a sort of a stakeout, with three parties hovering, checking in often and waiting for a price drop. Two of the parties were hoping for quite a substantial drop (their budget was capped at $12,000), so the third party won out — with little fanfare and a signing that was patient and unrushed. “In different markets prior, we would have gotten the papers turned around in five days; this time it took three weeks,” Browne said. The owners, who live upstate now, moved to get more space and because they’re “nature lovers,” and are happy to continue renting. This is the fourth expensive townhouse rental Browne has listed this year — in the fall, she listed three, all around the same time: one in Brooklyn Heights, one in Park Slope, and one in Clinton Hill. She was slightly surprised when the Clinton Hill one rented before Brooklyn Heights. But it makes sense, she says — the $15,000–20,000-a-month-Brooklyn people are now in Clinton Hill and Bed-Stuy, too.
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